Once while speaking with a friend I said, “If only I could arrange to sleep for two months straight, then I could have the rest of the year free to work.” As I spoke, I caught myself mid-sentence, slightly horrified. In my perfect scenario, any time off was sequestered, and I would instead prefer to live in a constant state of work.

This was entirely the wrong approach to living life harmoniously. In every area of our lives, finding balance is crucial. Whether it involves striking a work-life balance, creating a harmonious relationship, or simply balancing our finances, we must include our internal energy system in the goal. When our internal world is out of balance, it reflects within every area of our outer world.

We experience our lives through dualities: night and day, on and off , positive and negative, hot and cold, light and dark. Our bodies also contain a duality: a “male” and “female” energy system. But this has nothing to do with assigned gender roles.

Consider the yin and yang symbol. Yin is feminine, and yang is masculine. This Chinese symbol is made of a circle containing black and white swirls, each having a spot of the other within them. This is a symbol of opposite energies coexisting.

Male energy is directed, focused, goal-oriented, productive, and female energy is creative, process-oriented, unstructured, still, and receptive (open to receive intuitive guidance, touch, support, and so on). When we are out of balance, it shows in our outer world.

With too much male energy in your life, you may feel in constant action mode, wanting to rest but avoiding it to the point of exhaustion. We become stressed, overworked, and feel unloved by not accepting intimacy, connection, or rest. If we don’t control all aspects of our lives, we feel like our world will fall apart. Likewise, too much feminine energy can manifest in an inability to focus or take direct action. You may juggle a lot because you say “yes” too often. You may spend a lot of time in emotional limbo and find it difficult to make a firm decision.

However, when these two energy systems are working in balance, our lives feel free. We receive intuitive guidance on what steps to take next and create fi rm and focused action plans and see them to completion. We are connected, creative, and in tune with the world around us, and find it easy to engage in our own world. We feel expanded, resilient, and loved.

It is extremely easy to feel out of balance in our goal-oriented and results-driven world. We are surrounded by thoughts centered on doing and achieving. Rarely are concepts of rest, relaxation, and intuition celebrated. If we are to truly live our lives in balance, we must make a conscious decision to do so. By doing so, we will be setting an example for those around us to do the same. When we make it a priority to connect with both our male and female energies, they can become powerful allies working in harmony within us.

IF YOU FEEL ONE OF YOUR POLARITIES IS OUT OF BALANCE, TRY THE FOLLOWING: